This is a long one. I need input. Also writing this on metaphorical paper might help me think things through. So once again, there's a boy. Which makes it sound like there have been a lot of boys but there really hasn't been....anyways...
There's this boy. He's like perfect. He runs, he skis, he enjoys long hikes through the mountains, he somewhat bikes, astrophysics is a hobby of his, he enjoys laying out and looking at the stars, etc. etc. He's like the male version of me, but taller, and stronger, and not awkward, and attractive. I mean seriously he even watched the Steven Hawkins videos on Netflix, which I also watched and led to an interesting conversation. But I'm getting ahead of myself... Let's start from the beginning.
So the first time I met him was at a cross country meet (the Little Falls meet, it was his first).Autumn, Sara and I were trying to do homework a little ways away from the rest of the team (and everyone else), but Will and Hans kept bothering us. Well these two guys came down and sat with us too (Brieuc and the guy I like). They kinda just sat there and watched as we attempted to do homework and Will and Hans messed with us. Well on the bus ride back I took a nap and when I woke up Hans, Will, Autumn, Sara, Kara, Pat, and I think that's all were playing truth or dare. I love truth or dare. I joined it, but it was kinda boring, and then it turned out there was a better game going on in the back. Sara wanted to join and I was liked "why not?". There wasn't really room for us and Sara left. I stayed and just made room for myself. Once Will got out of the tape (he had been tied up with an entire roll of tape) and jumped into the seat containing Hans and Brieuc, I stole his seat. Who just so happened to be in his seat too? The guy I like! Though at the time I had no idea who he was and didn't really care. The game soon died out, actually it died right away. We were too late for anything good. I was too lazy to go back to where I was sitting before, plus Will and Brieuc were pretty entertaining, so I stayed where I was. I started talking to that guy, and found out his name is Benat. Well he was pretty funny and we had a good time and exchanged numbers and whatnot before I finally went back to my seat. Nothing happened. No feelings or anything, Just a cute guy.
A couple days later I was house/dog sitting for some friends and had to walk the dogs. It was dark, late and rainy, and I didn't want to walk alone because I'd worked the back till that day and no one ever goes to the back till. I needed to see people. Knowing that Benat lived nearby I invited him to come with. He said sure, and after changing I went over to pick him up. He let me in and ran off to go grab something or other and I followed him through the house so I could get to the back door. Well I was in socks, they have a hardwood floor, and I'm accident prone. I was running to the back and I look through a doorway and see Brieuc standing in the door shirtless. It startled me because 1. wasn't expecting that, 2. he looks good, 3. didn't know he was there, and 4. wasn't expecting that. From the combination of things in the past few sentences, I hit the ground. It was incredibly awkward. Brieuc wound up walking with us and nearly killed me from laughter. As we were walking out the door he just put a light jacket on. Didn't put a shirt on, didn't zip it up. I was just looking between him and Benat with a "who is this guy" expression. What was even funnier, was that Benat was dressed in a nice pair of jean, a nice long coat and had a little black umbrella. He looked like an Englishman. The there's me in a pair of random jeans and my black ski team hoodie. The three of us made quite a group walking those dogs. It was an enjoyable walk.We talked about all kinds of things and it was funny because we were talking about school. They both have school year round where they're from, but have long breaks a couple times a year. Brieuc asked when our next break was and I said Thanksgiving. They had no idea what Thanksgiving was and so I tried to explain it. Turns out they had no idea who they pilgrims were either so I wound up explaining the entire history of it and then what it's like nowadays. Brieuc asked how long the break was and I said two days. For some reason he thought we fasted for two days and then feasted. I stopped walking, looked him in the eye, and said "This is America! We don't fast! We continue eating and then we all gather together and eat even more!" That tickled them pink. They just laughed and laughed and laughed. It wasn't that funny. But whatever.
Benat and I talked and whatnot a couple pf other times, none of which are that important or anything. Then came The Weekend, as it should from now be called. Why? Because something happened during each of those days.
Friday: End of homecoming. I didn't have class at the college that day and so after math just hung out at the highschool and shadowed some friends to their classes. The classes were relax since it was home coming and the pepfest was that afternoon, shortening classes. I saw him a couple of times throughout the day in the halls, and we'd talk and whatnot. Well I ran into him on my way to meet up with everyone before the pepfest and we started talking and I was teasing him because he didn't really dress up (it was school colors day). I gave him one of my scarves and then we got separated by the crowd. Btw, at this point I did like him. He found me at practice and gave me my scarf back. After practice I ran home and was going to meet Autumn at the high school as soon as I got back. Well she forgot and went to Sara's house, and I didn't want to go home because I'd just have to walk back anyways in a little bit for the football game I agreed to go to even though I hate watching football because it's boring and I don't understand it. I called Benat and asked what he was doing, he was eating dinner and I said "Oh, nevermind." he asked what was up and I told him that I was at the high school and Autumn ditched me. He said he's be there in fifteen minutes. Even though the game didn't start for a hour and half we went and sat in the bleachers and talked and messed around. It was really fun and he kept playing with my "eyes". Then the game started and we were surrounded by some friends. HE KEPT MAKING ME JUMP!! He'd pinch or poke my under thigh and it was like I was being jumper cabled. Turns out he jumps to though. Then him and Steve kept throwing me into the crowd. No joke. They'd pick me up and everything. Stupid Steve, how he got Benat to agree I'll never know. He left with like 15 minutes left in the game to go to the dance with most of the people who had sat by us. He kept trying to get me to go, but I didn't want to ditch Autumn,Sara and Yuki, plus I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the dance because I'm not really a fan of dances and Griak was in the morning. Sara and Yuki kept trying to get me to go with them, but eh. Then I remembered that he still had my scarf and "eyes" and I texted him "Hey you! You have my balls and scarf! ;)" and he replied with "Come to take them!! hahaja :-)" Challenge accepted. Turns out he's not a fan of dances either and we wound up sitting on the tables outside talking for the longest time. We danced a couple of times, but eh. Well then a slow song came on. We both stopped talking and I was trying to work up the nerve to ask him to dance when Mercedes asked him to dance and he did! I danced with some friends then, and it was close to midnight so I decided to leave. I guess he noticed I left because I got a text from him asking why I left. I just said I had to sleep because of Griak.
Saturday: Griak: long story short, it's a huge cross country meet with teams from all over the country and college races and thousands of racers. You take your top ten boys and top ten girls. So the bus was pretty empty. Enough room for everyone to have three and half seats to themselves. We gathered in two groups. me and my friends, and everyone else. Well Eddy and whats-his-face sat across from each other and Benat sat behind them but wasn't apart of their group. We were about an hour from our destination and I thought he looked lonely so I went back and joined him. We talked and joked around and whatnot. Fast forward to me racing; he was there at the worst spots cheering me on even though I looked like a freak because I couldn't straighten my left leg (I'll explain later). Well on the way back he sat with my group and we stopped at Old Country Buffet on our way out of the cities. A group of us wanted to sit together and so pushed two tables together. Well I was saving the seat next to me for Autumn, but Benat sat down next to me instead, instead of going to any of the other nearby chairs. I went up for like the third time to get food, but didn't want to leave my phone on the table sp I just slipped it onto his seat (he was sitting with his legs apart). I got up to get food with me and noticed it and tried to ask why I put it there but I was on a mission for food and was out. He was looking through my phone and I said "Oh God, did I delete those nude pictures?!" Just joking around right. Well he started looking through my photos! He came upon a picture of Autumn and exclaimed "What is this?!" On the bus ride back we somehow wound up sitting together, even though at this point there were only like twelve people on the bus. At first we weren't touching or anything, but then he jokingling put his legs across my lap while trying to find another position to sit in (he's kinda tall and has long legs). Well I didn't care. Haha, I untied his shoes and so he moved his legs so he could fix them. So I put my legs in his lap. I was wearing a pair of shorts and had a blanket tossed over my legs and lower stomach. Well that blanket somehow wound up up my thighs and he was just feeling my legs. (Earlier everyone but him had felt them and were exclaiming over how soft and smooth they were.) After going on about how they really are smooth, he just kept feeling them. Once his whole hand stopped moving he just kept moving his thumb in circles on my calf. I eventually moved my legs. It eventually got dark and he was sitting diagnol in the seat and so was I, but we still weren't really touching. Then I decided to jut relax and asked if I could lean against him he said it was okay and so I did. It somehow went from me leaning against his arm, to me laying in his lap, to him holding me to his chest. I didn't want to fall asleep because I sleep with my eyes open and didn't want to freak him out, but he fell asleep. I just laid there with my eyes closed and pretended to sleep. Every now and then I'd open my eyes just to be sure this happening. At one point I open my eyes and he's looking down at me and smiling! I acted like I had just woken up and he leaned in and my heart went crazy. I thought he was about to kiss me. He didn't. I was just like "Good morning" and smiled and he smiled in response and said good morning. I then asked where we were and he had no idea, not knowing what else to do in such a situation I pretended to fall asleep again and soon he did. If not for the fact that he smelled amazing and was breathing on my face I probably would've fallen asleep too. So he asked me how I planned on getting home and I said "Maybe I'll hitch a ride, maybe I'll walk it's a nice night out" and he said "Maybe I'll walk too." He did. He walked me to my front door, even though that meant going out of his way since to get to my house you have to pass his house. So he walked me home and it was a very pleasant walk indeed.
Sunday: He came over, we were home alone. I was having a lazy day and was therefor still in my pajamas. We hung out on my couch and watched family guy and stuff for a couple hours. Then we were talking and he leaned in on me and once again I thought he was going to kiss me, but no. We had a good time and I'm pretty sure he thought I was an idiot. I was incredibly awkward and ya.
Friday October fourth. International club went to Applebees. Benat biked over to my house so he could get a ride with us (Sara, Autumn and I). We (Benat and I) sat together and they (Sara and Autumn) sat across from us. During the entire dinner we were messing around and just being goofy. He kept tickling/making me jump. He wrote me a note and made me promise not to read it until I was at home. I won't him a note since he wrote me one.I don't know, it was a good time. I also wound up wearing his sweater, which I'm still convinced is still just a long sleeve shirt and not a sweater. It was almost eleven when we got back to my house and the two of us went into the garage to get his bike. Well we wound up hanging out in there for an hour. He kept saying that he has to leave and not going. He eventually got his bike and was sitting on it ready to go. I kept pressing the button on the light on his bike and he'd have to press it like five more times to turn it off, but he needed the light to get home. The light that he kept turning off. He had a light or something under the seat of his bike and I was interested in it. He took it off to show, but had trouble getting it back on. He got off, to put it back on. I was checking it out and turned around. He was right there. Toe to toe. I put my my hands flat on his chest, one on each of the tassels of his hoodie (the whole time we were in my garage I repeatedly pulled on them so they'd be uneven). I looked up at him and whispered "Should I?" I would've said it normally but speech seemed to desert me. He nodded his head and I pulled on one of them.When I looked up, he was looking down and time seemed to stretch on forever. In reality it was probably less than a second. Then our foreheads touched and then our noses were touching and then out heads tilted. We paused just before our lips touched, and we kissed. His arms encircled my waist and he pulled me closer. My arms slid up from his chest to around his shoulders.We pulled back, he put his hands on my hips and we leaned back. Then in again, and kissed again, which became making out. Just standing there in the middle of my garage making out. Never done that before, usually you know, I'm dating the guy before any making of the out happens. Ten minutes later, we disengaged our lips and he was like "I really have to go now" cause it was five minutes to midnight and his curfew was midnight. We started making out again. I don't know what got into me, I don't just make out with people! We're face battling and he grabs me by the waist and picks me up. Like in the movies. He lefts me into the air and I wrapped my legs around his waist and our faces remain together. Once again another first. I felt kind of uncomfortable because I was sure he was dying under the weight of my fatness, so I literally slid down his body. It was the only way to get down. I wound up awkwardly standing with a foot on each side of his feet and had a hard time keeping balanced. It was like midnight thirty when he left and I was freaking out. I had no idea what had just transpired. I did the first thing I could think of; I texted Autumn. Then whilst waiting for a reply I ran into the bathroom to see if my face was red. I wanted to check because it felt raw, but in a good way. He has a little bit of stubble. Not gross looking stubble, but non-gross looking stubble...
He came over two days later, it was a Sunday. We went up to my room because I wanted to talk to him and Josh was in the living room. Plus I had to hang some stuff up. We ended up kind of cuddling. I sat up and told him that I had a question. He said okay. I said "So...Friday" and he was like "Yes?" and I said "You kind of kissed me..." He was like "I kissed you huh?" I said "Yes, and I reciprocated. With my mouth." He said "I don't see the question here" I said "Well...why'd you kiss me?" (all awkward like) He told me he doesn't know, and I didn't push it, because I'm a freaking chicken. I laid back down and we talked and joked and whatnot again. We talked about the rules of his stay. Apparently things like dating, sex, riding in a car driven by someone under 25, etc. are against the rules. He kept making fun of this map I have on my wall. Saying how it's disproportionate and wrong. He tried to take a picture of me when I was laying there. I wasn't having that. No one takes pictures of me! Then we were laying on my bed, like side by side and we were talking about Friday. So I asked him if he liked me, all innocent like and all. He said "kinda" but he also said we should be friends though. We continued just hanging out and then had to leave.
I saw him today at school (he has math after my early bird math) and I gave him a note. It was insults and me telling him he spelled my name wrong in the note he originally gave me. Me giving him the note actually reminded him that he hadn't read the note I gave him after Applebees (he kind of forgot about it), but that's okay. In it I called him cute, and then took it back because he made me jump again.
According to Autumn he constantly goes out of his way to say hi to me and stuff. He says hi a lot, but I don't think it's constantly. Just most of the time. Apparently he's also flirty with me and not with others. I don't know. Of course I suck at the whole picking up on those types of things, so maybe he was. I don't know why he would. I'm kind of awkward and can't speak correctly when I'm around him. I'm such a girl.
So that's all, I think. I have no idea what any of it means. I don't know, boys are something else.
I'm still pretty shocked at the whole making out thing. Just really shocked. I mean gosh. Was is das? (German for what is this)
There's this boy. He's like perfect. He runs, he skis, he enjoys long hikes through the mountains, he somewhat bikes, astrophysics is a hobby of his, he enjoys laying out and looking at the stars, etc. etc. He's like the male version of me, but taller, and stronger, and not awkward, and attractive. I mean seriously he even watched the Steven Hawkins videos on Netflix, which I also watched and led to an interesting conversation. But I'm getting ahead of myself... Let's start from the beginning.
So the first time I met him was at a cross country meet (the Little Falls meet, it was his first).Autumn, Sara and I were trying to do homework a little ways away from the rest of the team (and everyone else), but Will and Hans kept bothering us. Well these two guys came down and sat with us too (Brieuc and the guy I like). They kinda just sat there and watched as we attempted to do homework and Will and Hans messed with us. Well on the bus ride back I took a nap and when I woke up Hans, Will, Autumn, Sara, Kara, Pat, and I think that's all were playing truth or dare. I love truth or dare. I joined it, but it was kinda boring, and then it turned out there was a better game going on in the back. Sara wanted to join and I was liked "why not?". There wasn't really room for us and Sara left. I stayed and just made room for myself. Once Will got out of the tape (he had been tied up with an entire roll of tape) and jumped into the seat containing Hans and Brieuc, I stole his seat. Who just so happened to be in his seat too? The guy I like! Though at the time I had no idea who he was and didn't really care. The game soon died out, actually it died right away. We were too late for anything good. I was too lazy to go back to where I was sitting before, plus Will and Brieuc were pretty entertaining, so I stayed where I was. I started talking to that guy, and found out his name is Benat. Well he was pretty funny and we had a good time and exchanged numbers and whatnot before I finally went back to my seat. Nothing happened. No feelings or anything, Just a cute guy.
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| Brieuc's the one in blue |
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| Benat |
Friday: End of homecoming. I didn't have class at the college that day and so after math just hung out at the highschool and shadowed some friends to their classes. The classes were relax since it was home coming and the pepfest was that afternoon, shortening classes. I saw him a couple of times throughout the day in the halls, and we'd talk and whatnot. Well I ran into him on my way to meet up with everyone before the pepfest and we started talking and I was teasing him because he didn't really dress up (it was school colors day). I gave him one of my scarves and then we got separated by the crowd. Btw, at this point I did like him. He found me at practice and gave me my scarf back. After practice I ran home and was going to meet Autumn at the high school as soon as I got back. Well she forgot and went to Sara's house, and I didn't want to go home because I'd just have to walk back anyways in a little bit for the football game I agreed to go to even though I hate watching football because it's boring and I don't understand it. I called Benat and asked what he was doing, he was eating dinner and I said "Oh, nevermind." he asked what was up and I told him that I was at the high school and Autumn ditched me. He said he's be there in fifteen minutes. Even though the game didn't start for a hour and half we went and sat in the bleachers and talked and messed around. It was really fun and he kept playing with my "eyes". Then the game started and we were surrounded by some friends. HE KEPT MAKING ME JUMP!! He'd pinch or poke my under thigh and it was like I was being jumper cabled. Turns out he jumps to though. Then him and Steve kept throwing me into the crowd. No joke. They'd pick me up and everything. Stupid Steve, how he got Benat to agree I'll never know. He left with like 15 minutes left in the game to go to the dance with most of the people who had sat by us. He kept trying to get me to go, but I didn't want to ditch Autumn,Sara and Yuki, plus I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the dance because I'm not really a fan of dances and Griak was in the morning. Sara and Yuki kept trying to get me to go with them, but eh. Then I remembered that he still had my scarf and "eyes" and I texted him "Hey you! You have my balls and scarf! ;)" and he replied with "Come to take them!! hahaja :-)" Challenge accepted. Turns out he's not a fan of dances either and we wound up sitting on the tables outside talking for the longest time. We danced a couple of times, but eh. Well then a slow song came on. We both stopped talking and I was trying to work up the nerve to ask him to dance when Mercedes asked him to dance and he did! I danced with some friends then, and it was close to midnight so I decided to leave. I guess he noticed I left because I got a text from him asking why I left. I just said I had to sleep because of Griak.
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| Benat with my scarf and eyes at the game |
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| Autumn and I at Griak |
Sunday: He came over, we were home alone. I was having a lazy day and was therefor still in my pajamas. We hung out on my couch and watched family guy and stuff for a couple hours. Then we were talking and he leaned in on me and once again I thought he was going to kiss me, but no. We had a good time and I'm pretty sure he thought I was an idiot. I was incredibly awkward and ya.
Friday October fourth. International club went to Applebees. Benat biked over to my house so he could get a ride with us (Sara, Autumn and I). We (Benat and I) sat together and they (Sara and Autumn) sat across from us. During the entire dinner we were messing around and just being goofy. He kept tickling/making me jump. He wrote me a note and made me promise not to read it until I was at home. I won't him a note since he wrote me one.I don't know, it was a good time. I also wound up wearing his sweater, which I'm still convinced is still just a long sleeve shirt and not a sweater. It was almost eleven when we got back to my house and the two of us went into the garage to get his bike. Well we wound up hanging out in there for an hour. He kept saying that he has to leave and not going. He eventually got his bike and was sitting on it ready to go. I kept pressing the button on the light on his bike and he'd have to press it like five more times to turn it off, but he needed the light to get home. The light that he kept turning off. He had a light or something under the seat of his bike and I was interested in it. He took it off to show, but had trouble getting it back on. He got off, to put it back on. I was checking it out and turned around. He was right there. Toe to toe. I put my my hands flat on his chest, one on each of the tassels of his hoodie (the whole time we were in my garage I repeatedly pulled on them so they'd be uneven). I looked up at him and whispered "Should I?" I would've said it normally but speech seemed to desert me. He nodded his head and I pulled on one of them.When I looked up, he was looking down and time seemed to stretch on forever. In reality it was probably less than a second. Then our foreheads touched and then our noses were touching and then out heads tilted. We paused just before our lips touched, and we kissed. His arms encircled my waist and he pulled me closer. My arms slid up from his chest to around his shoulders.We pulled back, he put his hands on my hips and we leaned back. Then in again, and kissed again, which became making out. Just standing there in the middle of my garage making out. Never done that before, usually you know, I'm dating the guy before any making of the out happens. Ten minutes later, we disengaged our lips and he was like "I really have to go now" cause it was five minutes to midnight and his curfew was midnight. We started making out again. I don't know what got into me, I don't just make out with people! We're face battling and he grabs me by the waist and picks me up. Like in the movies. He lefts me into the air and I wrapped my legs around his waist and our faces remain together. Once again another first. I felt kind of uncomfortable because I was sure he was dying under the weight of my fatness, so I literally slid down his body. It was the only way to get down. I wound up awkwardly standing with a foot on each side of his feet and had a hard time keeping balanced. It was like midnight thirty when he left and I was freaking out. I had no idea what had just transpired. I did the first thing I could think of; I texted Autumn. Then whilst waiting for a reply I ran into the bathroom to see if my face was red. I wanted to check because it felt raw, but in a good way. He has a little bit of stubble. Not gross looking stubble, but non-gross looking stubble...
He came over two days later, it was a Sunday. We went up to my room because I wanted to talk to him and Josh was in the living room. Plus I had to hang some stuff up. We ended up kind of cuddling. I sat up and told him that I had a question. He said okay. I said "So...Friday" and he was like "Yes?" and I said "You kind of kissed me..." He was like "I kissed you huh?" I said "Yes, and I reciprocated. With my mouth." He said "I don't see the question here" I said "Well...why'd you kiss me?" (all awkward like) He told me he doesn't know, and I didn't push it, because I'm a freaking chicken. I laid back down and we talked and joked and whatnot again. We talked about the rules of his stay. Apparently things like dating, sex, riding in a car driven by someone under 25, etc. are against the rules. He kept making fun of this map I have on my wall. Saying how it's disproportionate and wrong. He tried to take a picture of me when I was laying there. I wasn't having that. No one takes pictures of me! Then we were laying on my bed, like side by side and we were talking about Friday. So I asked him if he liked me, all innocent like and all. He said "kinda" but he also said we should be friends though. We continued just hanging out and then had to leave.
I saw him today at school (he has math after my early bird math) and I gave him a note. It was insults and me telling him he spelled my name wrong in the note he originally gave me. Me giving him the note actually reminded him that he hadn't read the note I gave him after Applebees (he kind of forgot about it), but that's okay. In it I called him cute, and then took it back because he made me jump again.
According to Autumn he constantly goes out of his way to say hi to me and stuff. He says hi a lot, but I don't think it's constantly. Just most of the time. Apparently he's also flirty with me and not with others. I don't know. Of course I suck at the whole picking up on those types of things, so maybe he was. I don't know why he would. I'm kind of awkward and can't speak correctly when I'm around him. I'm such a girl.
So that's all, I think. I have no idea what any of it means. I don't know, boys are something else.
I'm still pretty shocked at the whole making out thing. Just really shocked. I mean gosh. Was is das? (German for what is this)
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